fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
