do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
