I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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