By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
