Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
