420 ftw
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
