They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
