Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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