What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
