He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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