After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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