Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
