I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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