Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
