i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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