Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
