new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
