wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
jump out the window naked night went bad
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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