I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
