We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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