My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
