I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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