The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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