So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
