Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
