yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
how drunk are you?
Several
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
