last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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