Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
