Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
