dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
