i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
