he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
