We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
