i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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