I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
