Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
