My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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