I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
