I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
