It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
