Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish you could order shots online.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
