Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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