i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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