WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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