Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
