So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
