Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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