It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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