READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
