I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
