the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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