Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
